Thursday, June 4, 2009


Another Day, Another Victory

Week 30:   Yea, baby! Another one bites the dust. Finished my Day 15 toxins today. Cycle 4 is history. The infusion seemed to take forever because I was restless. I have to take "anti-allergic reaction" medicine and it wires me out. But now I'm free...no toxins next week! My chemo appointment will be replaced by a visit to the onco to check in and see how things are going. Rumor is, it'll be judgment day in terms of whether or not I need to continue with more treatment. We'll see how well it's working and go from there. I know it seems odd - even contradictory - to say this, but somehow despite the outward signs of the pounding my body is taking, I feel "strong" on the inside. I feel like my organs are handling the poison pretty well. As long as all of my parts are cleansed, I'll be happy. We shall see.

5 comments:

Donna L. said...

Hello Ann, I became aware of your Blog through a link in the recent Dr. Susan Love newsletter that arrived in my Email. I just finished reading your Blog from the beginning. I'm hoping that when you read this you are feeling as well as can be expected, both in body and in spirit. You're a brave lady, Ann - and I admire the approach you've taken with your Blog. I'm a 9 year Survivor - diagnosed Feb. 2000 with an agressive Stage III invasive cancer in the upper right quadrant of my left breast. Two lumpectomies and finally a mastectomy was followed by chemo and radiation. I opted to wait for reconstruction and did so the next year using the Tram Flap method - tissue from my abdomen, freely removed, and then attached to a blood supply near my carotid artery. One of the chemo drugs I was given at that time, Adriamycin, damaged the mitral valve in my heart. Not acutely, just enough to impede my breathing during exertion from time to time. Through it all, I've tried to sustain an attitude that says "cancer cannot defeat me". Not that there haven't been crying jags and despairing moments. And that's my message to you - never give up. An old Scottish soldier once wrote, "I'm wounded, but I am not slain; I'll lay me down and rest awhile, and rise to fight again." - That's my life's philosophy ! I am a 30 year insulin dependent diabetic with Sarcoidosis in my lungs and right breast (of all places - can you imagine what I went through when that was discovered on a mammogram - naturally thought it was cancer. And Sarcoidosis manifested itself with swollen lymph nodes around my clavicle - of course, again thought it was Mets until a biopsy discovered the Sarcoid (inflamed immune cells - don't have a bloody clue how I came to have it !) I loved this comment in your blog:

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body; but rather, to skid in sideways with a margarita in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO," what a ride!"

I try to live this way every day ! I retired at age 55, my husband 58. We spent four months in Florida this winter (we live in Ontario, Canada so felt the need to escape winter)- and we are going home to our home province of Newfoundland for two months this summer to spend at our little place on the ocean. I have two beautiful grandkids that I see all the time and in fact, going to see UP on Saturday with my grandson (6 years old) and his little buddy. So, be ever hopeful - keep strong - enjoy a cold one when you feel like it ! And keep posting your stories.

Yours in hope and courage,

Donna Lockyer
London, Ontario

BLESSINGS said...

Dear Ann,

I just read your entire blog (inspired by the Dr. Susan Love email I received this afternoon).

You must know this: you are an amazing young woman and I will be praying for you, for Stephanie, for your husband~for all of you. Remember that God is with you ~ hang on to HIM. He wants to carry you! Allow HIM to do that!

I am a breast cancer survivor ~ having been diagnosed in October 2007. I underwent a bilateral mastectomy in November of that year with immediate reconstruction (free tram). Now, at age 55, I recognize the significance of each day, each smile on my grandchildren's faces, each kiss from my husband, each breath I take ~ all as gifts from God.

Please keep the faith sweet sister! God has much more in store for you once you are on the other side of this.

Anonymous said...

Hi Ann, I just found your blog through the Dr. Love newsletter. You are so brave and honest. I have lost two close friends to Breast Cancer and my Mom to Colon Cancer and even though I don't know you, I don't want to lose you too...so keep up the fight! Everyone reading is sooo proud of you!

Anonymous said...

Inspiring -thank you.

Cindy Butler said...

Hi Ann I also found your blog thru Dr Love letter and read from start to finish. I am a BC survivor since Nov 2005 off chemo/herceptin since 12/06 and in remission. A recurrence is always in the back of my mine and wanted to see how you handled it. You are a very strong and courageous woman and I only hope to have half the determination and courage you have if I should have to deal with this monster again. I send you positive hugs and prayers for you and your family. By the way love your mohawk.Cindy(age 57 currently on disability due to chemo side effects from Ft Worth, TX)

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