Shuttle Launch Alert!!

Sadly, no one else cares, but I'm VERY, VERY EXCITED about going to the LAST EVER space shuttle launch on July 8, 2011. Yes, my friends, I have the awesome good fortune of going to Cape Canaveral with tickets in hand! Wanting to see the shuttle take off has been on my list of things to do before bucket lists were invented.

Now all of the sudden, with the announcement that NASA's space shuttle program is no longer in the budget, everybody and their moms want a piece of the action. There was such overwhelming demand for tickets that the Kennedy Space Center set-up a lottery system for the opportunity to purchase them. I've been on the mailing list for months, waiting patiently for the announcement that one could go to their website to register. When that day finally came, it read "one entry per household." So at my prompting, I sent an email to my family and encouraged them to sign-up for yours truly to increase my chances of winning. I told them if they win, I'd let them come, too.   Hah!

Alas, my entry was overlooked. HOWEVER, my nephew Michael's, was not! YEEEHAAAH YYIIPPPEEE! YIPPIE YAAAY! "We're going to Flor-i-da. We're going to Flor-i-da." (She says with a butter churn and sounding similar to Eddie Murphy's chant, "you ain't got no ice cream; you ain't got no ice cream".)

We have our plane tickets and we'll be staying in an oceanfront condo at Cocoa Beach, home of Jeannie and her astronaut Master. I can't wait!!

More details to follow!

Vampires Wouldn't Want Me

I went for lab work this morning and the results were not satisfactory.  I've been denied chemo this week.  I think this makes the 4th or 5th time I haven't been able to stay on schedule.  I had a blood transfusion a few months ago, then I had another one just last week.  Looks like I might be headed for a third.  I suspected something was wrong because I'm covered in bruises, and some seem to appear spontaneously.

So sure enough, I was told this morning that I have another new side effect to add to my repertoire.  These bruises apparently have a name:  purpura; and more specifically, my assortment of bruises include "petechiae."  Sounds icky.  Petechiae are small, red bruises, less than the diameter of a no. 2 pencil eraser.  They're caused by leaking capillaries (versus trauma-related bruising) due to low platelets.  The normal range of platelets in a given unit of blood is 150-400.  Mine are at 9.

I'm also anemic (low red blood cells), which explains why I'm pale and more tired than usual, and my white blood cells are also low.  I was told to avoid eating certain veggies and fruits, and to stay away from people so I won't get sick.  The latter might be a problem since people seem to exist all over the place.

Basically, I'm running on blood that's not really blood, because if I don't have platelets, red cells and white cells, I'm not sure what's left except for the beer I drank this past weekend.

Greeting Card for the Sick

While undergoing treatment in the infusion room a few weeks ago, a fellow patient shared this greeting card she received: 

   CHEMO SUCKS


   But if it sucks the cancer right out of you, then
   "HOORAY CHEMO!!"


I thought it was so funny I feel obligated to make t-shirts of it and pass them out to new patients.

Okay, Here's the Deal

It's already June 2011.  My last update, which itself was late to arrive, was in January.  So obviously I haven't taken the same interest in updating my blog as I did during my previous bouts with cancer. There's a reason for it. I'm not happy with my prognosis.  It's been hard on me this time.  Cancer changes your daily life, but when it metastasizes, it changes your future.

The PET scan in November revealed that my cancer spread to both lungs, several lymph nodes, various and sundry soft tissue, and my bones (including a spot on my spine - and remember that rib that was hurting me? -  there, too).   In other words, the monster is on the loose.  I'll spend the rest of my life tracking it down and trying to contain it.

I started a clinical trial in early December. I have chemo twice a week for two weeks, followed by a week off.  It's a three-week cycle that I will repeat continuously for at least a year. . . or until it stops working.  I also have to face the possibility that I will be on chemo, whether it's the current regimen or some other, for the remainder of my days.  I can only hope those days turn into years.

I'm feeling a little defiant today.   So in the vein of Bon Jovi's song "It's My Life,"  I'm taking back my power to beat this disease....AGAIN...and I'm going to try to "live while I'm alive."   Click on the link below, then crank it up and sing along. You might want to open another window first so you can refer to the lyrics at the same time.

"The link below." (Note: if it you receive a security message, choose okay to continue to the site. Be sure to give it a chance to load.)

This ain't a song for the brokenhearted

No silent prayer for faith departed

And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd

You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud

It's my life

It's now or never

I ain't gonna live forever

I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"

I just wanna live while I'm alive

It's my life

This is for ones who stood their ground

For Tommy and Gina who never backed down

Tomorrow's getting harder, make no mistake

Luck ain't even lucky, gotta make your own breaks

It's my life

It's now or never

I ain't gonna live forever

I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"

I just wanna live while I'm alive

It's my life

You better stand tall

When they're calling you out

Don't bend, don't break

Baby, don't back down

It's my life

It's now or never

'Cause I ain't gonna live forever

I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"

I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

And it's now or never

I ain't gonna live forever

I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"

I just wanna live while I'm alive

'Cause it's my life!